Is that how I get by in life? By ignoring other’s problems? I completely forgot about Laugh Smart all summer. I KNEW she was going through a difficult time with her father… but still I just.. ignored her. I didn’t really mean too…I just didn’t call her, didn’t e-mail her, nothing. Its like I’ve completely let go of that part of my life. 8th and 9th grade. When I lived these years, I thought I was finally living a grown up conciousness. 7th grade was my adjusting period and now I was a full fledged highschool student. The friends I made/became close with: Laugh Smart, Empty Room, Que So, Key, and Joker. We went out almost every weekend. I felt it would stay that way forever. Just like that, wonderful and forever. Then the news came that rocked my world. I’d have to stare at an empty bus seat, I’d have to knock on a lonely door on the 11th floor with no answer. I was loosing an anime buddy, a happy friend. Empty Room was moving to Michigan. God, I fucking hate Michigan, wish it would sink into those god damn lakes. Then my world fell apart. Should’ve seen that one coming. Picture perfect doesn’t last for long. Que So only talked to me because he was sweet on Empty Room. Key is still my friend, but shes always been introverted and doesn’t see me as much now. Joker got new friends. People who fit better with her self-defeating personality. I was always trying to compliment her, she hated that. We still talk… Sorta. Why’d you have to go and take everyone with you Empty Room? Her real name is Maria. SHHHH! Don’t tell anyone, but I absolutely must share how much I love her name. You can say “Maria” like normal, then theres “mAria”, and of course my favorite: “Mariamia”. Damn, I really love her name. Maybe I’ll name my daughter that. Anyways, last but not least is Laugh Smart. I’m fascinated by this girl. And if you’ve read any of my sappier posts, you’ll know that I only like interesting people. Boring people can go find other interesting people to talk too. I need excitement, ie. different or eccentric. But I digress. Laugh Smart is so very determined to help everyone but herself. Shes in big brother, she teaches little kids, shes in Community Action Team at school. Did I mention her straight As ? The only thing she can’t fix is the tenuous relationship she has with her father. When her mom moved out last summer she refused to speak with him. Now shes settled on answering his questions but not starting any conversation. She has a right to be angry with him, sort of… Her father ignored her half big sister because she was from his previous marriage. He wanted to forget his past and his poor daughter got hurt badly in the process. Laugh Smart says constantly ” My grandparents have too many grandchildren, they can’t give gifts to all of them, just the unfortunate ones. Now my sister, she got presents till she was 25, having been abandoned by her father and all. ” I don’t know if she doesn’t remember telling me this so many times, or if she just wants to make me believe that her father is bad through repetition. I hope its the first. I know she hates her father, but I don’t want to have to hate him too. >_< He always seems so nice. I really don’t want to hate another person.. wait,… what the hell was I talking about? Oh yes, continuing on with my story. Well on the first day of 10th grade, everything seemed normal. Everyone was happy, smiling. Empty Room moved two days later, then life began to sink. Sometimes its better if something just ends, like Empty Room did, like the Beatles did. Instead of slowly and sadly fading away, I have only happy memories of her. Let me describe the last day we spent together. It was Empty Room, Laugh Smart, Que So, Key, and I. “The gang” or “my pose”. XD Thats what I called them. We started out by going to Dewey’ss Pizza after school. Then we took a walk through the park where we swang and I tossed my pink tennis ball the the people flying by. Then we sat on a bench by the lake. We sat on it and laughed at nothing and took pictures and touched the water. Then we walked through the ichy high grass to Empty Room’s apt complex and played on the playground outside. We laughed and laughed, and eventually everyone except Key ended up on the wooden roof of a playhouse about 20 feet off the ground. She threw the ball up at us till she got bored and started swinging. Onii-chan was there too. Almost all the people I love, on one roof. It was so special. We knew this was the last night. This was the very last time we’d ever see Empty Room. I started to cry. I called Oka-san and she let me stay till midnight. I cried and I hugged her. And I hugged Laugh Smart. And it was beautiful. And Key and I tried to devise ways to stay there longer. I never wanted to leave. I’d never felt something so bittersweet before. The night air was lovely and we looked at the stars through the two towering apartment buildings. Its corny, but as Maria left in a car, I can’t use Empty Room, the name seems mean at this point in the story, I thought “I’ll see her round face again, I just have too.” Dramatic, ne? I went home, cried, then fell asleep exhausted. I have no idea how I got up the next morning. But wait… what was I talking about again? Ok, so at this point in my life I was watching my friends slowly dissipate. Was she really the glue holding them together? I thought it was me doing that. At least I’m pretty sure it was. So I still ate at the same table as I used too. Laugh Smart had a different lunch for 10th grade year. Hate that damn bell schedule. New people started to sit at out table. We’ve always harbored over on our side of the outdoors the misfits, the scifi lovers, theater fanatics, just anyone who doesn’t fit in with the general high school populous. Anime lovers quickly congregate here. They tend to be either overly happy, have too defined a sense of right and wrong (black and white), or waaaay too into fake fighting. So anyway, they all end up here. I started talking with these anime lovers. And with my two senior anime lover friends having graduated and the other moved away, it was really nice to know someone else who also enjoyed Japanese Animation. New friends to fawn over pocky with, watch Naruto flashes with, and just generally commune. I attatched very closely to some new people: Cocky Sir (with whom I share 1st bell english, tennis, anime, and a dirty mind), The Gaunt Giant (With whom I share a love of the unknown and magical, also he stalks -_-), Slick (both of us love happy things and fast, high pitched music, we like the same kind of anime and both enjoy Harujuku/cosplay), Clean Cat (We both like politics, although differ strongly on many issues. He’s convinced me of a few things. We share 4chan, and quick wittedness.), Intrican (We both sing, like slash, opera, and our mums), Pride (as the name suggests, she is VERY gay, and equally as interesting), Lacqure (We’ve got vampires, Twilight, anime, and epic reenactments of WWII where the Germans win), Crack (who is gay and really REALLY funny), Estas (tight since 8th, but she really brought me out of my shell, so she’ll always get a spot on MY list), Irony Slip (Known her forever as my neighbor, we just started hanging out more this year) So that gives me Cocky Sir, The Gaunt Giant, Slick, Clean Cat, Intrican, Pride, Lacqure, Crack, Estas, and Irony Slip. I also have more so-so friends than I did last year. My name isn’t exactly household, but I do know a fair percentage of my grade now,.. and some lowerclassmen. Seniors don’t count. They’re like older siblings more than friends. Like Kat, Sempai, Onii-san and Onii-chan. 
Love them. Wait, wtf was I talking about? This is hard. Ok, so I’d made all these new friends and completely forgot about the old ones. The constant e-mails between Empty Room, Laugh Smart, and I had ceased. Disconnection set in. I laughed lightheartedly with my new friends. We had parties, doing the same things I’d done with my old friends. It felt like I was replacing them… but I was having too much fun to feel any loss. We played sports, had extreme video game tournaments, made internet videos. For the first time, I could just have fun on the surface. None of us really knew anything about eachother’s pasts. “The present person is a lot of fun, so who cares?!” thought us. The problem is, eventually, our relationships got deeper. Lacqure and the Gaunt Giant started going out. Pride and Crack were inseparable. Clean Cat, Slick, and I became great friends. We were the three, the proud, the problem solvers. If two of us where there, we’d ask around about the third. Each of us was great friends with the other two, which strengthened our bond. I’d introduced Clean Cat to 4chan, anime club, and our lunch table. We can talk back and forth with amazing stamina about absolutely nothing. Kinda like guns, with too much to say -_-;. Also, I’ve lived with Slick for a weekend. She’s been over to my house and I to hers. We’re tight, end of story. So all these alliances, like the years leading up to WWI would be our downfall. It was devastating when Lacqure and the Gaunt Giant broke up. Also, there were issues while they were going out. That the Gaunt Giant still liked other girls. That he was making advances on me while still with Lacqure. Did I mention that he asked me out a long time ago? Well he did. It freaked the fuck out of me and I promptly said NO. But back to the story. Apparently Clean Cat and I got too close, because he asked me out, I said NO again, and all hell broke loose. Rumors circulated. I felt bad. He felt bad. Slick, who had found some way to make it all her fault felt bad. It was simply BAD. Well now its summer. 10 days before school starts. God I hope this year holds less drama for me to endure. Last year’s drama was the pits. T_T So there you have it, the main events of the last few years of my life. Also, this shit is HARD. Now I’m going to read it all again and go through the thousand emotions I went through writing it. *phew* That took a lot out of me.
(after reading) edit: It did again.
